How I Introduced the Swiss to Cheese Fries

Cheese pot

How did I make it 61 years and 11 months above ground without knowing that fondue is a Swiss thing? I did and it is. A minute of research revealed that in the 18th century some industrious, forward thinker came up with a plan to use stale bread and aging cheese before either became inedible.

While spending parts of three days in Switzerland in between funicular rides to mind-bending heights in the Swiss Alps and window-shopping for wallet-busting Swiss-made watches, we had fondue. Although the word comes from the French word, “fondre” (to melt), the service staff at the restaurant simply called it a “cheese pot.”

The funicular to Harder Klum

Ordering was easy, or I should say, should have been easy. “We’ll have a cheese pot please.” See? Wouldn’t that have been a cinch? Yeah, well…after I asked for “fondue” I asked, “What comes with that?” No response. “I mean is it just fondue?” Same.

Finally, he said, “You must like cheese. It is a cheese pot.” My restraint was unparalleled. “I hope you like cheese,” he said.

The view from 4000 ft.

“Yes we do, but what do we dip in the cheese?” It was clear that he understood English, but at this point in the exchange I realized that he was convinced he didn’t understand Americans.

Slowly as if to make sure I understood, he said, “Bread."

“Is that all?” I replied. “OK then we’ll take some French fries to dip in there.”

And as if I had asked a Frenchman to add Sprite to his cognac or a Scotsman to pour diet coke into his whisky, he slowly turned his head until our eyes met.

I guess he never heard of cheese fries

With ever so slightly raised eyebrows and a look of quiet disappointment he said, “Classy.”