Two Ways to Say the Same Thing (It’s Coming Back to Me, pt. II)

Not too long ago after waiting for way too long, I ordered Internet and cable television for the apartment we rented in Amstelveen. It was too easy to ignore this task. Hey, it’s Holland—why worry; why hurry? The rental agent had told me, “You just go to the Pijp (a neighborhood in Amsterdam) and when you sign up they give the equipment you need and you carry it home. Easy.”

There it is—famous last words—”you just go there”…

But wait, it’s coming back to me. Using the wifi at my friends’ house I looked up the address of the place the agent mentioned. I took the 30-minute metro ride into town. I walked a couple of blocks and sure enough, as promised, I found Ziggo—the Internet provider. The store looks like any such place in the USA. There was a registration process (which I totally missed) and I noticed various agents helping customers with their purchases and issues. When I noticed a man using the registration kiosk, I did the same. (I should say that at that point it would have been very Dutch for that man to precede me, but he insisted I go next. As a general rule, Dutch people do not “queue up.” They do not wait on line. When waiting for service if you make eye contact with the sales person, you go next, no matter how long anyone has been waiting. Try getting used to that! But I digress.)

After I told the agent why I was there, the first thing he asked was my address. I told him, and he responded, “Amstelveen?”

“Yes,” I told him.

“I cannot help you,” he said. That’s about the point it came back to me. I have seen this kind of reaction by Dutch people so often that I almost immediately appreciated his response for what it was—for what he meant. Perhaps there were two ways to say the same thing. “If you live in Amstelveen, you must order on line or by telephone,” he continued as he spread his fingers by his ear to show me how to use a telephone.

In my limited experience over parts of three years, I have learned that very, very often the first reaction of the Dutch is negative and seemingly quite literal. I decided to apply my theory…

“What phone number would I use?” I asked. He wrote it on a piece of paper. “What will I say when they answer?” I wondered.

“Say the same thing you said to me, that you want Internet and television,” and turning to his computer terminal towards me, he said, “allow me to show you the options.”

“You know,” I said, “sometimes I think people struggle with my accent, especially on the phone.”

“Oh, I don’t think that is the case,” he replied. Then he said, “I can register you here and you will receive the equipment by post (in the mail).” Initially I thought he indicated that couldn't help me, but now I just think there really are at least two ways to say the same thing.